Inside Yoga 76 (9/5/13)

The Buddha taught: “When a (person) knows the solitude of silence, and feels the joy of quietness, he is then free from fear and he feels the joy of the dharma.”

Silence is an important feature of life, but it is often squeezed out by our busy lifestyles, which seeks to claim every second of our life. Over the long May Bank Holiday weekend, I stepped away from all of that while I attended a Vipassana Buddhist meditation retreat, which involved being in silence from Friday evening to Monday afternoon. It was a group retreat with about 50 people following the daily routine of sitting and walking meditation from early morning through the day into the evening.

It is a rewarding experience and also a challenge, especially if new to meditation. For some of us, being in silence is the hard part, perhaps because we are simply not used to it, even though it is something so natural.  There are numerous times in the day when we are silent, but when we make it a formal exercise it can feel so strange that we might think it odd or uncomfortable.

Yet when given time, silence is a potent force for our well-being, health and clarity. It creates a space within which we can breathe and release our tensions, unwanted thoughts and worries, and explore what it is to be ourselves.

Over the last 18 years of my own practice I have spent several periods of time in silent retreat: in the first years of my journey exploring yoga and meditation, I jumped in with both feet, and this resulted in doing long retreats such as a couple of three-month retreats, and several one month retreats, plus some shorter ones of ten days. These days it is harder to find the time, as I have a family and work to do, so it’s not so easy to go off for whole month, but taking a long weekend to do a retreat is a treat well worth taking – it’s amazing how deep you can go into your meditation in just a few days of silence.

A silent meditation retreat is like holding a mirror up to myself and taking a good look at who I am. Once the silence starts and with it the practice of sitting and walking, it is amazing how many thoughts can flood right in. Of course, this always varies, as sometimes I might be enjoying moments of complete silence, simply aware of my breath, my body and what’s around me – which in the case of this retreat in Devon’s beautiful countryside, I had plenty to enjoy looking at without a care in the world. Yet, much of the time, I would be absorbed in listening and following a flood of thoughts – memories or plans is where we spend most of our time, or simply put, we are usually thinking about something from the past or in the future planning; rarely in the present.

I have heard it said that we are not human beings, because we do not know how to simply “be”! Instead, we are human doings because we spend most of our time doing things.

This is the point of being in silence and meditating – keeping it simple, because as the time passes we can see our patterns, or habits, and gradually become more mindful and aware of our “self”. Then gradually we become better at dropping the thoughts and being more present, as the retreat progresses we can then witness more silence.

Yes, it can be hard work, but the experience of numerous retreats has taught me that one major benefit of the retreat in silence can be felt afterwards, when we go back to our homes and working life. I have often noticed that my post-retreat state is more at ease with everything! It is often a subtle transformation but one that is tangible, when we notice that post-retreat person has improved upon the pre-retreat person.

It is not always hard work: having the time to be quiet and enjoying the peace of silence and being free of the outside world for a few days is simply a wonderful time. It is precious time and one we sometimes forget to take for ourselves.  Some people find that their retreat was pleasurable with none or few internal struggles, and that one simply learns to be with this too. We are learning to be mindful of our every moment, good or bad, riding the waves of our own being.

Feeling guilty about doing something for just ourselves can arise, either by stopping us from this kind of activity or it is can be a recurring thought that comes up while on retreat. One way of looking at this is to reflect that if we look after our own well-being and health, we will be a better place to look after others. Heal ourselves before others.

We can explore silence without going on a formal retreat, by simply taking time to sit quietly at home, or going for a walk in a park or countryside, becuase we do have plenty of opportunities to be silent. Why fill our heads while out walking with music in our ears courtesy of our iPod, when there is so much is simply being in silence and listening to what is around us, especially if we are in a place of beauty such as a country walk or run. And before we forget, every yoga class is a chance to enjoy some silence, exploring our own practice.

As Lao Tze said, “Silence is a source of Great Strength.”  We can cultivate strength through exploring silence. This is a tangential thought but scientists have been looking for the unseen “dark matter” believing it will unlock so much information for us, and so forth. See silence as our own dark matter. It has always been here and if investigated and understood, it will reveal so much to us.

And before I go back into silence, here are some quotes on silence…

Mahatma Gandhi said: “In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth.”

Confucius said: “Silence is a true friend who never betrays.”

And finally, Sufi mystic Rumi wrote: “Let silence take you to the core of life.”

For retreat information see Gaia House, Devon, website link  http://gaiahouse.co.uk/